All Country Life...

Netley Marsh, not quite in the New Forest National Park, is a small hamlet along the fairly busy A336.  It narrowly escapes the creeping residential sprawl of nearby Totton, but still manages to retain its rural charm, thanks mainly to its attractive church, surrounding pastures and a Polish hand car wash (ok maybe not the last one).

Netley Marsh church

In addition to the car wash and the church, the notable features of Netley Marsh are its annual Steam and Craft Show, Carlton House - a reform school for boys a hundred years ago and now a consulting engineers offices, and the only pub in the village, the White Horse.

Daytime view of White Horse - owned by pubco ‘EI' (trendy re-interpretation of Enterprise Inns) - their new corporate style of signs and sign writing evidence.  Beer garden in front with view of A336

The pub is simple country cottage style building with additions to both sides and rear to form a single level L shaped interior.

Friday night view...

Its primary function as the village local is obvious inside, with three quarters of it used as ordinary pub/drinking area with standard tables and chairs. A small dining area of about six tables is squeezed in at one end.

View to the dining area

It was quite busy with locals socialising and drinking at 6:30pm this Friday evening though Mrs GH and I got a table in the dining area, for a meal.  The menu had a good selection of typical pub dishes, with creative names such as ‘Foghorn Leghorn roast chicken’ and ‘Moby Dick cod and chips’.

Hop garlands and fairy lights - view to the bar/ main pub area. Table in foreground awaits the country ladies...more below....

The food was good, though my cod was average size and didn’t manage the white whale-like proportions suggested by it’s menu name.  My plate arrived with the piece of cod and several little pots for peas, chips and tartar sauce.  The pots may be handy for ensuring the correctly sized servings, and perhaps I’m supposed to enjoy it more if I empty the pots out to assemble my meal, but it’s a bit tedious.... like assembling a piece of IKEA furniture.

The choice of real ale was typical of New Forest area pubs with three handpulls providing a choice of ale from Marston’s nearby Ringwood Brewery (Forty Niner), the Canadian mega-brewer’s Doom beer and, in normal parlance, ‘one changing beer’ in this case, Hook Norton Brewery’s Hooky.

Note the seemingly redundant Doombar tasting glass atop the spare handpull.  There’s bound to be plenty of these on eBay, now that everyone knows there’s nothing to taste!

I couldn’t remember having cask Hooky before so had to try it, but sadly this cask was past its best and I suspect had been waiting patiently all week for customers.  Though still drinkable it was beginning to develop its sharp vinegary off taste (poor/average).

Correct glass but beer quality playing hooky tonight.

The relative quietness of the dining area was soon ended by the arrival of a group of country ladies on the next table, talking loudly about ponies, and how many acres they had.  Star performer was the lady whose whooping laugh sounded more like an Apache war cry and vibrated the ear drums.

Finishing our meal, and before the ladies cracked too many jokes with the risk of  repeated whooping, we beat a hasty retreat out of earshot, around to the other side of the bar for another drink.  Here we found a good mixed crowd including a local woman who apparently saves abandoned dogs...”she’s got loads of ‘em at home” announced her male friend.  “He was left tied to railings in Liverpool” replied the woman, pointing to her little black mongrel with skinny legs on the end of the lead.
Back at the bar for another round of drinks, I photographed the pump clips and a friendly bald chap, moved his pint of Guinness out of the way, in deference to the ritual photographing of real ale.  He helpfully mentioned that the pub did a nice pint of Guinness, but as an afterthought added that it was not as good as that served in Ireland.

Unfortunately I ignored this advice, and still under the impression that the real ale was better, thought I’d give the Forty Niner a go.

Nothing could be finer than a Ringwood Forty Niner.....but not this one....

My eternal optimism was not to be rewarded with any quality real ale tonight, the Forty Niner also having an mild acetic after-burn. Drinkable but poor/average).

In all fairness this is a nice small community pub,  well presented and serving a good crowd of locals representing all country life in Netley Marsh.  I obviously caught the real ale on a bad day, and next time it could be a new cask and in excellent condition (there’s that eternal optimism again).  That’s the 'real ale lottery' in so many pubs.

The challenge of coming up with the most obscure toilet door signs to test their customers is another pub thing...  I must admit I had to pause and consider the option between the door with the photo below and another with a photo of a group of women, before deciding this must be the gents....(with just that lingering nagging doubt)...

Men on a girder - just pub decor or the gents toilet sign?

...anyway it was the correct guess and I was grateful not to end up in the ladies toilet or the kitchen.

In the gents toilet there was a photo of Marilyn Monroe (or lookalike? - never sure) in ballerina dress.  Actually this is the second pub in a couple of weeks where I’ve seen Marilyn in the gents toilet.
Sure it’s an ‘iconic’ image, which is seen as art in the right place, but in the gents toilet?  Personally I don’t get it, and it’s the kind of inappropriateness summed up perfectly by the late Kenny Everett whose ‘Cupid Stunt’ character said “It’s all done in the best possible taste!”

Don’t know if it’s the landlord’s/landlady’s personal taste or (perhaps more likely) in the pubco EI's manual of 'essential decor' ...

Marilyn - essential decor or gentlemen’s toilet art?

Catchphrases are coming in handy today...so over to you Jeremy...
”And on that bombshell - it’s time to end (the post)....”